What To Do When You Can’t

This blog post has a little bit of a different vibe. Normally, our content is full of energy, vitality, enthusiasm, and expertise. But today I’m sharing that sometimes no matter how much work you do, no matter how much planning, goal setting, motivation, and support you have, things still don’t work out. 

I want to talk to you about how to navigate your way through that kind of disappointment and frustration because sometimes, things just don’t work out the way you want them to. And a lot of times when that happens, it can throw you for a loop. It can completely shut you down.

To watch this as a video, click here. 

Unfortunate Circumstances – They Happen

Today, I got shut down a couple of times when I was already running on a less-than-empty mind. I was already exhausted, had decision fatigue, and had a lot of other stuff going on. Then, my computer crashed. Right in the middle of one of my programs leading my Business Accelerator Mastermind groups. 

Here I am online, we’re not even halfway through the meeting. People are in the middle of creating and sharing breakthroughs. And I’ve got a black screen of death in front of me, without even the helpful little apple symbol and filter load. The little file thing says loading and… I got nothing except a little folder with a question mark on it, just blinking at me as if saying, ‘dude… you totally F’d this up. Like you are totally hooped.’

More than 20 years of entrepreneurship and experience in teaching on stages, in classrooms, and online makes me a very experienced speaker and problem solver.

Everything crashes. I don’t panic. I think, okay, I can’t do it this way, I can find another solution. I’m great at finding alternatives.’  I pull out my phone, and immediately open zoom.

And off I go. I managed to complete the meeting. All’s well that ends well. My members have a fantastic experience. They walk away with really great value. Everything works out great. I probably was only offline for less than a minute of the meeting.

Then, later on, I am in a meeting with one of my interns – one of my apprentices – and we’re talking about social media when…the whole system crashes. Again.

Not to worry; I get back on the phone and work with her through it. Finally, I’m able to get the computer back up. We’re able to hack our way through a meeting and get each other the information needed to move forward.

And I tell you gang, at the end of that call, I was… I was defeated. 

I still am a little verklempt about it, but man, it feels like some days you just work so hard and you try so hard, and then the littlest things can throw you right off. This is because I let myself get exhausted and overrun and stressed out. 

Part of what we do in Business of Creativity, and part of what I do in my own life, is practice healthy habits. I make sure that I get enough sleep to journal through emotions and feelings before they can build up and release unexpectedly and out of proportion. I speak to my coach. There are people around me that I can be vulnerable and open with and share what’s on my mind when things aren’t working… And they are supportive and listeners, not always trying to fix things. Sometimes, an ear is all you need.

Making a Choice/The Optimal Choice

I had a meeting booked this afternoon and I chose to cancel the meeting and reschedule it, declaring that I had an urgent personal matter to take care of. It’s true. I needed to urgently take care of myself so that I wouldn’t be bringing this level of anxiety and exhaustion to my people and my clients. I needed to replenish the energy and motivation to keep going despite the blips along the way. 

Sometimes we forget that we are the boss, that we are the ones who have set up the rules of this freelance, entrepreneurial game that we’re playing. 

We’ve set up the milestones that mark our progress and the rules to abide by, and we get to decide when we want to change those rules. 

And today I decided that prioritizing myself as an urgent personal item was more important than showing up and trying to facilitate a casual conversation. These are not paying clients. I absolutely have been in contact and in integrity with my word. I apologized for moving the meeting, creating another opportunity for them to communicate. And that’s the best that I can do. Making that choice was a better choice than mustering myself up and pushing through and trying to always make it work.

One of the things that I noticed is that when I am in service, I do sacrifice myself. I tend to ignore any of the physiological feedback that I might be getting that says, You know what, you need to slow down and reconnect to your passion. 

YOU are your priority

Take some time for yourself. Lean into the tools that you have, into the network of support that you have, and process feeling the feelings and the emotions. Then, decide what do you want to create for yourself next.

I bring this to you with the intention of some real talk, to give you some real tips on how to deal with real emotions and what to do when you just. can’t. do it.

What I suggest to you is acknowledge that you just can’t do it, and get into integrity around any of the agreements you have made by being in communication and creating a new agreement around them. Then, really take the time to lean into your toolbox and to the abundance of people who love you, not necessarily to rely on them, but to help yourself remember who you are.